


When This Is All Over

by missbecky



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: First Kiss, Fix-It, M/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-04
Updated: 2017-10-04
Packaged: 2019-01-08 19:40:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12260820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missbecky/pseuds/missbecky
Summary: This is where it all begins, Eggsy thinks. Not with a medal or a phone call or a sunny morning outside Holborn police station. This moment right here, mere hours before they go forth to stop another megalomaniac intent on destroying the world.It couldn't be more perfect.





	When This Is All Over

**Author's Note:**

> Contains major spoilers for The Golden Circle. Inspired by [this interview](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fA-BIkUxIds) where Colin discusses some of the deleted scenes they filmed where Statesman tried to make him remember who he was.

The bedroom in the back of the plane has its own bathroom. Eggsy gets dressed in here, checking his appearance in the mirror several times, re-knotting his tie and trying to find the courage to go back out there. He reckons he only has a few minutes to say what he's been nerving himself up to say for almost the entire trip.

 _Fucking get on with it,_ he tells himself. Does he really want to waste what little time they have hiding away in here?

That does the trick. He opens the door and walks out into the bedroom. It's light in here; the window shades are up and sunlight fills the room. Down below the Pacific stretches endlessly blue toward the horizon. Ahead is Cambodia and Charlie and Poppy, and the antidote she fucking well better have. And ahead of that? Fuck if he knows.

One thing is certain, though: it won't be long before Merlin comes in, fully kitted out and ready to go. If he's going to say what's on his mind, he's got to do it now. There might never be another chance.

He takes a deep breath and says, "I'm sorry."

Harry looks over at him; he's changed into the grey suit and his hair is combed in place. He stands in front of the bed, one foot propped on it as he finishes tying his shoelaces. "For what?"

Eggsy forces himself to stand still and look him in the eye. "For all those things we did to you. Trying to make you remember." He hadn't been present for most of them, thank fuck, or he would have gladly torn Ginger a new one, much as he likes her.

It's something he hasn't really been able to stop thinking about. On the flight back to England with Whiskey it had occupied his thoughts. Even in Glastonbury he had thought about it, wincing with anger and shame to recall some of the things Statesman had done. And Harry, poor Harry, had been dragged along without anyone even asking him what _he_ wanted.

"I keep thinking," Eggsy says. It's hard to say it out loud. Harder still to hear the words that have only previously echoed in his head. "Maybe it took so long for you to remember 'cause you didn't _want_ to."

It's the only conclusion that makes sense. Harry didn't respond to any of the increasingly cruel triggers because a part of him hadn't wanted to remember his old life as a Kingsman.

And as awful as that is, Eggsy kind of can't blame him. Being a Kingsman isn't easy. It's a life full of hard decisions, blood and pain, and narrow escapes from death. And it's lonely as hell, too. He's been so lucky to have someone, but by his own admission, Harry had no one. For years he went through all that bad stuff alone. Why would he ever want to remember any of it?

"Maybe we shouldn't'a done it," he says.

Harry slowly lowers his foot to the floor. He stands up straight, not the soft posture of the young butterfly collector, but the proper stance of a gentleman. It's the way he's stood ever since he came back to himself, since he stopped hugging Eggsy in that padded room and finally let go of him.

"Eggsy." Harry gives him a look Eggsy can't quite decipher. "Do you know why your idea worked when all the others didn't?"

Eggsy shrugs. "Cause mine had a fuzzy puppy and theirs didn't?"

"No, Eggsy," Harry says with that old combination of fond indulgence and exasperation that Eggsy remembers so well. And oh fuck he missed hearing that, missed Harry so fucking much he can't stand it.

"Statesman failed," Harry says, "because they wanted me to remember pain. But you made me remember love. For Mr Pickle. And for--" But he stops there, either unable or unwilling to go on.

Eggsy can only stare. He knows how he wants that sentence to have ended. But he can't let himself believe it. There's no way it can be true. There's just no way.

"I suppose it's possible that I would have enjoyed a quiet life as a lepidopterist," Harry says. "But I think a part of me would always have known that something was missing. Something important."

He's been drawing closer during this speech, Eggsy suddenly realises. Harry stands right in front of him now, smelling of Kingsman aftershave, taller than he's ever been.

"I missed you," he says. He's said it before, but he can't ever say it enough. "I missed you so much."

"I'm here now," Harry says quietly.

That's all Eggsy needs to hear. He throws his arms open and hugs Harry with all his might -– and it's the best fucking hug he's ever had in his whole life. Harry holds him back without hesitating, and this time there's no squirming puppy caught between them.

This is all he's wanted for so long. He used to dream about it, walking through that house where he could practically see Harry out of the corner of his eye, his presence was still so strong. This right here, the two of them in bespoke bulletproof suits ready to go save the world, taking a little time beforehand for themselves.

And it's so easy, so incredibly easy, to raise his head, to rise up on his toes a little, and make the last of it come true.

He's never had a kiss like this. So cautious, like Harry too can't believe this is happening. So sweet. So right. They fit together perfectly, his body pressed against Harry's, Harry's arms strong at his back, Harry's breath warm on his lips.

And now he knows. He knows what he was missing all those months.

He knows he can never go without this again.

"Gentlemen!" A sharp knock at the door jolts them both back to reality. Eggsy flinches as they quickly pull apart, and Harry swears under his breath. "Are you dressed? Might I remind you we have a world to save?"

"Yeah, yeah," Eggsy calls, glaring at the door. "Give us a sec, will you?"

"I'll give you sixty," Merlin says through the door. "Not one more."

He means it, too, Eggsy is sure of that.

He looks back at Harry, and immediately his heart sinks. Harry hasn't moved, but his gaze roams about the room, never settling on one thing for too long. It's painfully obvious that he's seeing butterflies again.

Gently Eggsy puts his hand on Harry's arm, not wanting to startle him. "Harry?"

Without looking at him, Harry says, "It's quite all right. I'm not seeing butterflies, if that's your concern. I'm merely wondering where they hide their listening devices."

Eggsy's eyes widen. Oh fuck. Some spy he is. He didn't even think about that. "You think they're listening to us?"

Harry looks over at him. "Of course they are," he says with mild reproof. "They're spies, aren't they?"

Technically yeah, they are, though as far as Eggsy's concerned, Statesman can't hold a candle to Kingsman. "Shit."

"Well, we'll sort it out later," Harry says. He gives Eggsy a rueful smile.

"Yeah," Eggsy says.

They just stand there then, neither one of them wanting to be the first one to turn away, to go out into the main cabin and start talking strategy with Merlin. In here they're not Galahad or Kingsman agents. In here they're just Eggsy and Harry.

"I ain't sorry," he says. "I know I should be. But I'm not."

"Neither am I," Harry says.

This is it, Eggsy thinks, and holy shit has he ever been this happy before? He doesn't think so.

This is where it all begins. Not with a medal or a phone call or a sunny morning outside Holborn police station. This moment right here, mere hours before they go forth to stop another megalomaniac intent on destroying the world.

It couldn't be more perfect.

"When this is all over," he says.

"Yes," Harry says, before he can even finish.

Eggsy grins. "Okay."

Harry smiles back, the same bright smile he had for the puppy, for his memory of Mr Pickle. For love.

Oh, Eggsy thinks. _Oh._

 _Never been in love_ , Harry had said, and oh what a liar he is. But if Harry is a liar, then Eggsy is the fucking king of denial.

When this is all over, he just said, but that wasn't really right, was it? Because this isn't an ending. This is just the beginning. And already it's pretty fucking amazing.

"So," he says with a wink. "Let's go save the world, yeah?"


End file.
